Love Letters

"Matt. I'm nervous." I confessed.

Wednesday, the 15th of December, was my first Chorus performance. It was Matt's too.

"Why?" He asked, his British accent making me feel a bit better.
"Because, before singing with you. I'd never sang in front of an audience before." I sighed, looking down at my purple flats.
"Chris." He said, grabbing my shoulders "You're going to be fine. Don't worry." He smiled.
I smiled too
"Really?"
"Yus."
"Well, then... LET'S GO!" I yelled then bolted into the Auditorium with Matt trailing close behind.

"CHRISSA AND MATT ARE HERE!" Callie yelled as soon as she saw us coming through the door.
Callie, Prudence, Molly, Elizabeth, & Casey immediately circled around me.
I peered over at Matt, he was talking to Nathan, Keith, Jake, and Ryan. I smiled.

"So..." Elizabeth said.
"So what?" I asked.
"What song are you singing?" She asked.
"For Matt." Casey added.
I rolled my eyes.
"It's a surprise, and how would you know that it's for Matt?" I asked.
"Because, Hun, it's obvious." Casey remarked.

Before I could answer, Mrs. Hodge walked in.
"Hello, My little love song singers!" She greeted.
"Hello Mrs. Hodge" Everyone called out in unison.
"You're all getting better at that. So, who would like to sing their heart out first?" She asked.

One single hand raised. I looked to who it was, and to my surprise, it was Ryan.
"Ryan, you want to sing first?" Mrs. Hodge asked.
"Yes" Ryan replied with insane amounts of confidence.
"Well, then sing away!" Mrs. Hodge smiled, then came and sat down in her normal seat.
Ryan made his way on to the stage.
"I need someone to sing the girl parts in this song. Jessica?" He asked.
Casey looked hurt, but then she went back to not caring.

Wait, didn't they just love each other the last time I saw them?

Jessica looked confused, but she walked on stage anyways.
He asked her if she knew the parts to some song, she nodded and then she walked over and told Cindie to play the piano intro.

"Just gonna stand there and watch me burn?
It's alright because I like the way it hurts.
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry?
That's alright because I love the way you lie.
I love the way you lie." Jessica sang sweetly. Her voice sounded a bit like Rhianna's, but not much.

"I can't tell you what it really is.
I can only tell you what it feels like.
And right now, there's a steel knife in my windpipe.
I can't breathe but I still fight while I can fight.
As long as the wrong feels right it's like I'm in flight." Ryan rapped.
I looked at Casey, she looked like she knew all about this.

Everyone else was about as confused as I was.

"High off of love,
drunk off my hate. It's like I'm huffing paint.
And I love it the more I suffer.
I suffocate.
And right before I'm about to drown.
She resuscitates me.
She freaking hates me.
And I love it." He said.

Dude, this was getting more and more confusing.

By the end of the song, Casey and Ryan were staring daggers at each other, whereas the rest of us were way too confused to even notice.

"That was a love song?" Callie whispered to me.
"A love gone bad song." I replied then she went back to being confused.

After Ryan went, Casey went up.
"Okay, well I know that was a total disaster." She looked at Ryan.
"But our relationship isn't all that bad. Case in point." She said, then cued the band to play Katy Perry's 'Teenage Dream.'

"You think I'm pretty without any makeup on.
You think I'm funny when I tell the punchline wrong.
I know you get me, so I let my walls come down.
Down" She made her voice go up and down the second time she sang down.

Everyone clapped for the both of them after Casey finished.
She ran down to Ryan and they hugged.

"Okay, that was weird." I whispered to Elizabeth.
"But it was adorably weird." She smiled.
"True." I shrugged, then turned my attention back to Mrs. Hodge.

"Who would like to sing next?" She asked.
Elizabeth's hand shot up.
"Okay, Liz. Sing away!" Mrs. Hodge smiled.

"You were in college, working part-time, waiting tables
Left a small town and never looked back
I was a flight risk, afraid of fallin'
Wondering why we bother with love, if it never lasts" She sang Taylor Swift's "Mine."

"I say, "Can you believe it?"
As we're lyin' on the couch
The moment, I can see it
Yes, yes, I can see it now" Elizabeth made her way to Jake, and sang directly to him.


"Do you remember, we were sittin' there, by the water?
You put your arm around me for the fist time
You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter
You are the best thing that's ever been mine" She sang to Jake.

After Liz sang, I clapped like crazy. That was so adorable how she sang that to him!

After Elizabeth sang, Jake waltzed up and sang Bruno Mars' "Just The Way You Are"

It.Was.Adorable.

After Jake sang, Mrs. Hodge called on Keith to sing.
"Okay." Keith muttered, then walked up.

"I like how when you look at me
you don't know how i feel
cause I'm usually so nonchalant
my feelings I conceal" Keith sang. He had a really good voice.

"but I want you to know
oh, I want you to know" Keith pointed to one end of the crowd, then moved his arm across.

"I must admit I've felt this way for more than quite a while
but I can't hold it no longer when I see the biggest smile
can't wait no more
oh, I can't wait no more" Keith sang. I looked at Molly.

SHE DID NOT GET IT.

Dude, he was singing Bruno Mars' "All About You" for HER.

But did Molly notice?

NO.


After Keith sang, Molly voulnteered to sing. She sang Ke$ha's "Your Love Is My Drug."
She was awesome, like always. I think Keith noticed she was singing about him, because all of a sudden, he got this really awkward looking grin on his face.

"Well done Molly!" Mrs. Hodge complimented after Molly finished.
"Who would like to go next?" She asked.

I looked around, my gaze settled on Jessica. She was giving Peter, who was holding pictures of his girlfriend, Hayley Wilson, in his hand.

Someone's jealous.

Her hand raised, she stomped to the stage and belted out 'Girlfriend' by Avril Lavigne, which gave Peter a look of amusement and horror. I looked to Callie, she used to like Peter. She even was his best friend, Callie could care less, she was dancing around to the music. Even if she couldn't stand Jessica.

After Jessica finished singing, Peter went up to sing.
"This song is about my girlfriend. She's not here, but letting out my feelings would help." Jessica looked like she was furious, but still wanted to hear what he sang.
He ended up singing Maroon 5's 'This Love.' Everyone got up and sang the final chorus with him.

"This love has taken it's toll on me.
She said goodbye, too many times before." Everyone waved while singing.
"And her heart is breaking in front of me
and I have no choice
'cause I won't say goodbye anymore.
WOAHHHHHHHH!" We all harmonized while singing 'woah' then he finished.

Everyone clapped, when the clapping settled down, Mrs. Hodge looked around.
"So who wants to sing now?"
"ME!" Callie yelled.
"Okay, Callie." She smiled, then let Callie sing.

From what I've been told, last week, Callie told Peter that she loved him. He just gave her the death glare, so she ran away. When she came back, he sang a song for Jessica. Callie believes that Jessica stole Peter from her, which is why she ended up singing Taylor Swift's "Better Than Revenge"


"Now go stand in the corner and think about what you did." Callie pointed to the corner. The band started the song.

"Time for a little revenge." Callie said, then began singing.
"The story starts when it was hot and it was summer and
I had it all, I had him right there where I wanted him.
She came along, got him along and let's hear the applause." Callie clapped.

"She took him faster than you can say sabotage." Callie held up a sign that said 'Sabotage'

"I never saw it coming.
Nor had I suspected it." Callie shook her head and made her way to the drum set.

"I underestimated just who I was dealing with.
She had to know the pain was beating on me like a drum" Callie played the drums.

"She underestimated just who she was stealing from" Callie shook her head, making her light brown locks fly in the air.

"She's not a saint." Callie acted like she was praying.
"And she's not what you think." Callie pointed to her head.
"She's an actress.
WOAH!
And she's better known for the things that she does on the mattress.
WOAHH!" Callie sang.

"Soon she's gonna find
stealing other people's toys on the playground won't make you many friends." Callie shook her head again.

"She should keep in mind, she should keep in mind.
There is nothing I do better than revenge. HA!" Callie then jumped into the crowd and crowd surfed.

After Callie sang, Tyler decided to go up.
"I'm going to need a couple of people to sing the background vocals." He sighed.
Matt, Keith, and Jake went up. Peter wanted to go up, but Tyler looked like he was going to hit him in the face. Peter got the idea, and went back to sitting by Jessica.

"Easy come, easy go
That's just how you live oh
Take take take it all
But you never give,
Should of known you were trouble
From the first kiss had your eyes wide open,
Why were they open?
Gave you all I had
And you tossed it in the trash,
You tossed it in the trash, you did." He started singing Bruno Mars' "Grenade."

For Jessica, obviously. He and her were dating, they broke up. Then in the beginning of Chorus, Callie developed a crush on Tyler. Jessica was just like "NO!" So Jessica acted like she liked Tyler when she REALLY had eyes for Peter.

Either way, Tyler and Callie were cheated.

After Tyler sang, everyone clapped.
"GOOD JOB TYLER!" Callie called out. Tyler smiled to her.
"Well done, Tyler! Okay well next we have, Nathan!" Mrs. Hodge smiled.

"Okay!" Nathan smiled, then walked to me.
"Chrissa. Do you know The Beatles' song 'Eight Days A Week?'"
I nodded "Yeah!"
"Then you need to sing the backup." He smiled.

When we got on stage, Prudence shot me a look that said;
'what-in-the-name-of-glee-are-you-doing-on-stage-with-my-boyfriend.'

I smiled, Nathan was going to sing her the cutest little song ever.

"We need a guitar player." Nathan said into the mic.
Callie was up on stage with a guitar faster than Nathan could ask who wanted to be the guitarist.

Callie played the intro and Nathan sang.
"Ooooh I need your love babe.
Guess you know it's true.
Hope you need my love babe.
Just like I need you."

I joined in
"Hold me, Love me.
Hold me, love me!" I made a heart with my hands.

"I ain't got nothing but Love babe." Nathan sang.
"EIGHT DAYS A WEEK!" We both sang.

After the song, Prudence was so surprised! She ran up and hugged Nathan.
She then ran and hugged both Callie and me. She thanked us about a million times.

"Well Prudence, while your up. Do you want to sing next?" Mrs. Hodge asked.
"Oh, of course!" Prudence smiled.

"Today was a fairytale
You were the prince
I used to be a damsel in distress
You took me by the hand and you picked me up at six
Today was a fairytale" Prudence smiled while she sang.

"Today was a fairytale" She sang to Nathan.

"Today was a fairytale
I wore a dress
You wore a dark grey t-shirt
You told me I was pretty when I looked like a mess
Today was a fairytale
Time slows down whenever you're around" She pointed to Nathan, he pointed to himself and shook his head, jokingkly.

"But can you feel this magic in the air?
It must have been the way you kissed me
Fell in love when I saw you standing there
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale" Prudence smiled.


When Prudence finally finished singing Taylor Swift's 'Today Was A Fairytale.'
It dawned on me that Matt and I were the only two who hadn't sang yet.
The butterflies returned. I had a song picked out, and it was PERFECT, it's just I wasn't sure about the whole performing it.

"Okay, well we only have two more people to go! Chrissa, do you want to go next?" Mrs. Hodge asked what I dreaded.

To my luck, Matt raised his hand.
"Um, Mrs. Hodge?" He asked in his amazing British accent.
"Yes, Matt?" She asked.
"Chrissa looks a bit nervous. Do you think I could go first to give her a little time to get ready?" He asked, turned to me, and winked. My mind swam.
"Sure, Matt! What a sweet thing to do!" Mrs. Hodge smiled and Matt walked on stage.

"Okay, I'm new to Chrous. So if I suck, tell me." He joked then began to sing.

"If I fell in love with you
Would you promise to be true
And help me understand
'cause I've been in love before
And I found that love was more
Than just holding hands"

OH
MY
GOD.

OHMYGOD OHMYGOD OHMYGOD! HE IS SINGING THE BEATLES' 'IF I FELL' I LOVE THAT SONG! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!

"If I give my heart to you
I must be sure
From the very start
That you would love me more than her" His amazing voice sang.

I must have drifted away to another world, because he started singing that to me while we were sitting in a field.

"If I trust in you, oh please
Don't run and hide
If I love you too, oh please
Don't hurt my pride like her
'cause I couldn't stand the pain
And I would be sad if our new love was in vain" In the dream, he sat with a guitar and was strumming. I was singing along too.


"So I hope you see that I
Would love to love you
And that she will cry
When she learns we are two
cause I couldn't stand the pain
and I would be sad if our new love was in vain" He sang John's part and I sang Paul's part. He went lower and I went higher.

"so I hope you see that I
would love to love you
and that she will cry when she learns we are two.

If I fell in love with you" We both finished singing.

He whispered "I love you, Maxie."
Then he began to lean in..........

"WOOOO GO MATT!" Prudence's loud voice pulled me out of my day dream.
I was dissapointed that he would never tell me that, but I was just so proud of him for singing! I stood up and yelled
"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Like the physcopath I am. He smiled and winked at me, which was becoming the norm.

"That was beautiful, Matt! That leaves us with one more person to sing... Chrissa!" Mrs. Hodge pointed to me.

"Oh dear." I muttered as I left the comfort of my seat and walked on stage.
"I picked out this song because the first time I heard it, I connected to it. I mean, sure, he's probably never going to love me back, but hey, at least I can dream and I can say that I was enchanted to meet him" I smiled then cued the band to start playing 'Enchanted' by Taylor Swift, she really must be stalking me, because this song is exactly how I was the day I met Matt.

"There I was again tonight forcing laughter, faking smiles
Same old tired, lonely place
Walls of insincerity
Shifiting eyes and vancancy vanished when I saw your face" I immediatley flashed back to the minute I saw Matt. The butterflies I felt in my stomach, the way my eyes probably went to the size of basketballs.

"All I can say is it was enchanting to meet you" I smiled.

After that day in History,
he said "It was nice to meet you, Christine, is it?"
I smiled, "Chrissa. but It was nice to meet you too, Matt."

"Your eyes whispered "have we met?"
Across the room your silhouette starts to make it's way to me" I remember how excited I was when Matt went to sit by me.

"The playful conversation starts
Counter all your quick remarks like passing notes in secrecy" I remember the first word he said to me,
"'lo" Sure, it wasn't exciting, but it was amazing, then I remembered the day we auditioned for Chorus, how witty he was to get me to go with him.

"And it was enchanting to meet you
All I can say is I was enchanted to meet you" I smiled while I sang.

"This night is sparkling, don't you let it go
I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home" I sang an octive higher.

I remembered the way Callie gave me the ninth degree when she found out about my crush on Matt, and how I legitamatly was blushing all the way home the day I met Matt.

"I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
I was enchanted to meet you" I went up when I sang 'meet.'
I looked at Matt, he flashed me a 'go-get-'em' smile.

He wouldn't ever know how I felt, would he?

"The lingering question kept me up
2am, who do you love?
I wonder till I'm wide awake
Now I'm pacing back and forth, wishing you were at my door
I'd open up and you would say,
It was enchanted to meet you
All I know is I was enchanted to meet you"
I sang, recalling the night where I stayed up, wondering what I would say to Matt the next day, and how that night I dreamt that he came to my door and confessed his love to me.

I sang the chorus again.
"This night is sparkling, don't you let it go
I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew" Prudence and Elizabeth were slowly waving their hands in the air from side to side. Soon everyone was mirror-ing them.

"This night is flawless, don't you let it go
I'm wonderstruck, dancing around all alone
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
I was enchanted to meet you"

I flashed back to the time I danced around and sang 'Martha My Dear' but substituted 'Martha' with 'Matthew.'

"This is me praying
that this was the very first page
Not where the story line ends
My thoughts will echo your name until I see you again
These are the words I held back as I was leaving too soon
I was enchanted to meet you"

I remembered the time that Matt invited me to go with him and his mom on Black Friday. While we were waiting outside, his mom commented "You too would be the cutest little couple I ever sawr." Her thick accent lacing every word. As soon as we got in the store, I faked throwing up so I could go home.
I was a coward then, and I hate myself whenever I think about it.

"Please don't be in love with someone else
Please don't have somebody waiting on you
Please don't be in love with someone else
Please don't have somebody waiting on you"

As I sang, I remembered the time that Abbey brought up the fact that Matt could still have a girlfriend in London and that night I prayed to God that he wasn't in love with someone else and didn't have a gorgeous skinny blond girlfriend waiting for him in London.

"This night is sparkling, don't you let it go
I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
This night is flawless, don't you let it go
I'm wonderstruck, dancing around all alone
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
I was enchanted to meet you"
I sang the chorus looking around at everyone's expressions.

Jessica looked like she was moved, that she had felt the same way as I do.

Callie smiled, she knew the story and was rooting for Matt to love me back.

Prudence looked like she was about to cry. I remember her telling me about how she wondered if Nathan liked her back. This song must have hit home for her.

Nathan was looking at Prudence, he looked like he was wondering if she was enchanted to meet him.

Peter was looking at the pictures of Hayley he still had in his hands. He was whispering the words to the pictures.

Tyler was smiling at me. He was enjoying the song. He then did something that shocked me, he looked at Callie and mouthed "I was enchanted to meet you, Hippie."

Elizabeth had her head on Jake's shoulder and looked happy for me. She was always telling me that keeping your feelings bottled up ended badly.

Jake kissed the top of Elizabeth's head. He then shot me a smile, he knew too. He always told me that the only way for Matt to get a hint that I liked him was to drop a hint. Well singing a song is one big hint.

Casey and Ryan were holding hands, they were smiling at me and then at each other. I think they were finally getting settled as a couple.

Molly was smiling at me. Molly has always been the best giver of advice, but she's never been very lucky in love, so she couldn't help me. By the look on her face, I was giving her advice on what to do with her love for Keith.

Keith was looking at Molly from the corner of his eye. I could have screamed while I was singing, Molly was finally crushing on a guy who was crushing back! YAY!

Mrs. Hodge wiped her eyes, I think she was crying! Maybe the song I was singing reminded her of a lost love?

Lastly, Matt. He looked just so proud of me. That only made me love him more. Matt mouthed 'You're the best.' I wished he mouthed 'I love you,' but hey, baby steps.

"Please don't be in love with someone else" I sang, unknowingly having a tear escape and slide down my face.
"Please don't have somebody waiting on you" I shook my head, then bowed.

Everyone stood up and applaused. I smiled.

I did it! I sang! I was so proud of myself.

After that, Mrs. Hodge congratulated all of us on our progress, and told us about the Winter Dance. That was on Thursday and Prudence has a post on it, just look up "Positivley Prudence" on the sidebar and search for a post entitled "Disco Bell Rock."

Looking back, I'm proud of myself. I mean, not everyone can sing a song for someone they love when the person is right there. But I did, and I am just so proud of myself. I told Sonali the story and she feels the same way.


That night, I wrote Matt a letter and put it in a little box.
The letter reads;

Dear Matt,
If only you knew how much I loved you. Then maybe you'd see me in a new light.
One that is filled with love.

Psh, like that will ever happen.

Anyways.
I love you Matthew Riden.
I love the way you can always make me smile, no matter how crappy I feel.
I love the way you sing.
I love the way you care for everyone and anyone.
But mostly, I love the way your so loveable.

I love you.
Whether it's puppy love, or a really intense crush, or if it's true love, I don't know. But all I know is that I love you.

Forever and Always,
Chrissa Maxwell."

<3Chrissa